Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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