i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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