Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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