I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
