I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
