ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize