Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize