Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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