It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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