Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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