Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
farters have to be the big spoon...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize