He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
