omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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