you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
