You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
well you can't waste a boner
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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