did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize