just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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