i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
