I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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