I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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