office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
