what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
