Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
