Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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