i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
