Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize