You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
