ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
