They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
