Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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