glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize