I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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