I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize