Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just gift wrapped bread.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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