Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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