Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
