All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
