i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
