nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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