Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
