Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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