peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
