Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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