I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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