Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
