Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
i think my cat just said my name.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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