Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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