He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize