kristin has been a bad kristin
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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