he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
