around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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