Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
