Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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