I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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