she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i think i just lost a toe
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize