i wish there were pregnant emoticons
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
