I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
