Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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