ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
