I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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