Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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