cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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