i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
