He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
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