It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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