im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
