do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
