I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
