We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
please come you make the beer taste better
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
