we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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