I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
