Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
