I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
honey bunches of taint.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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